Scolding legacy of Indian parents need not be carried forward; Here’s why – Times of India
Scolding is a culture in India and is passed down from generation to generation. It is very common for husbands to yell at their wives, parents to scold children, siblings to yell at each other even over matters so trivial that a few words could have solved it.
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This is normal!
No one bothers to go through a scolding or two.
Many people think of scolding as a form of expression. But in reality it is an expression of harsh words, directed at someone who is sometimes not at fault.
A few decades ago, it was rarely thought of when fathers scolded their children. Words and actions were accepted as the Holy Grail.
Everyone moved in response to the scolding, but no one reacted to it in any other way.
Scolding has always been from the elders to the youth. No reverse!
Elders can reprimand the younger and ironically, the younger will be reprimanded if they speak up. Surprisingly, this process of reprimanding has a linear flow. There is no reverse way.
It’s a one-way street, with nowhere to turn and mind you, it’s a never-ending road.
Why does this inheritance need to stop immediately?
This centuries-old tradition is based on the assumption that strong words and strong actions make a man strong. While on the one hand we do not question the wisdom of our ancestors, we certainly do not see it as relevant in today’s age.
Also, with so much awareness about children’s mental health, we are forced to broaden our horizons of ideas around our children.
With the advancement of technology, ease of communication and the availability of multiple platforms, children today are exposed to many things at a time. Needless to say, kids these days are under a lot of stress in meeting academic goals, maintaining non-academic goals and pursuing extra-curricular activities.
Scolding diminishes a child’s understanding of healthy relationships. Gradually a child comes to believe that scolding is the meaning of relationships.
Long-term effects of reprimanding include anxiety, low self-esteem, and increased aggression. Scolding makes a child feel small and humiliated and when it is done on a regular basis, the child loses the spark and drive to move forward. It keeps a child trapped in their own insecurities and fears.